Hairy Cunt Didoing

It was a few minutes to midnight, driving rain, and the nearest village or town is 5 miles away, so I had already decided to stop, when the figure turned to face me and raised a hand to flag me down.One thing about the surrounding country, there is no where for anyone else to hide, so I wasn't even slightly nervous, and I stopped and lent over and opened the passenger door. The figure got in and at this point I realised it was a woman, probably in her 20's, shabbily dressed, and wet through and shivering.I turned the car heating on full, and asked her where she was headed. In between bouts of shivering, she told me she had been thrown out by her boyfriend. I asked her where she had come from and she said "Northcote Farm", I knew this was an isolated farmhouse about 2 miles away towards Pateley Bridge. She still hadnt told me where she was making for, and I was surprised she had headed off over the moors, rather than into Pateley Bridge. Maybe she had relatives in one of the small. By the way, there was $4 missing.I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.Sincerely, EdnaThis is a story from Pat and his dinner date ... Now you know why he doesn't have a girlfriendMRE Dinner DateI had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner. After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY, definitely had never eaten before. I got out my trusty case of MRE's. (Meal, Ready-to-Eat) Field rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories in each meal.Here's what I made: I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic packets, took out three of the Pork Chops, three packets of Chicken-a-la-king and eight packets of dehydrated butter noodles and some dehydrated/rehydrated rice.I cooked the Ham Slices and Pork Chops in one pan, sauted in shaved garlic and olive oil. In another pot, I.
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